I’m about to whine. You’ve been warned.
Yesterday I woke feeling about a jillion times worse than the day before. I could barely speak. My jaw ached tremendously. My head was clogged and painful. Really – I was quite the picture. Mister said I should save my voice and simply not speak. (I didn’t blame him.) And he encouraged me to lie around, which was about all I could handle.
At some point I considered crying. I thought about it and wondered if it would make me feel better. Crying does that sometimes. I have definitely experienced a few sob sessions that seemed to wring the bad/sad/hurt right out. Those cathartic cries bring clarity and comfort. But yesterday felt different. I thought that maybe the physical act of crying would create more pressure and tension in my head and I simply did not need that. So I didn’t cry. Not one tear.
Mister pointed out that now is the time to be sick, as next weekend I have Rock Camp commitments. And he’s right. I can’t imagine teaching, working, roadie-ing, singing or anything else I might be called upon to do over the course of the week. And I really don’t want to expose any fellow volunteers or campers to this petri dish known as my head. That would be downright stupid. And mean. I love those people! I don’t want to get them sick!
So I’m in whining mode. And I’m not happy and I’m super uncomfortable, to put it mildly. But you know what? I know people – right now – who are dealing with much worse than this. And though they’re challenged, they are dealing. So maybe I can pretend the pain isn’t there. Maybe I can eat soup, since my jaw hurts too much for solid food. Maybe I can manage a damn smile once in a while. Maybe I can manage – period.