“I learned a long time ago the wisest thing I can do is be on my own side, be an advocate for myself and others like me.”

Maya Angelou

(1928 – 2014)

 

 

It started with a playwright. Actually, it started so many years ago, I can’t fully trace its origin. Lord knows, I’ve tried, but for the life of me I can’t figure out when I started doing it.

 

The playwright. I met her some weeks ago and during the evening’s events, I introduced her to a few people and got the ball rolling on a couple of new professional relationships. We were both in the same place, and it seemed easy enough to make introductions that might be fruitful for her, so I took the reins and did it. It was no big deal.

 

Or was it? A few days later the playwright sent me an email, thanking me for being an advocate on her behalf. She expressed her gratitude for my actions, for building her up and recognizing her talent and validity. Her appreciation was sincere and honest.

 

So I started thinking: am I a cheerleader to the good people in my life? That question’s answer came pretty easy, for yes – I am definitely a cheerleader to those around me. And I’m okay with that, as it’s an honest part of my being. But in acknowledging that part of myself, I was faced with a larger, darker question: if I’m a cheerleader for others in the world, why am I not a cheerleader for myself?

 

That hit me hard, folks. For sadly, it’s the truth. I do tend to encourage and support the souls in my life. I can build someone up and in the very same breath, I can tear myself down. For instance, the night I met the playwright, it was said by someone that perhaps I could perform at a specific venue in the near future. Without a second’s hesitation, I shot down the idea and changed the subject. What’s that about?

 

After reading the playwright’s email, I thought about my cheerleader tendencies a bit, but didn’t obsess over it. Then the other shoe dropped: Mister and I watched “The Spectacular Now.” If you saw this beautiful film, you know it’s about a high-school dude who happens to – what else – support and encourage everyone around him without giving the same attention to himself. (It’s about a lot of stuff, actually, but I’m short-handing this, y’all.) I loved the movie, and I’m so glad to have seen it. I did not expect to relate to any of its characters, however, least of all a teenage boy. But there you go. Life throws you for the occasional loop. Some are big, others fit on a screen.

 

After seeing “The Spectacular Now,” I decided to confront myself and reconsider my stance on excluding me from the support I give to the world. And here’s what I decided…

 

I am worth my own faith. I deserve to believe in myself. When I try something and fail, I can love me enough to get up and try again. When I succeed, I can love me enough to appreciate me. When life places opportunities right in front of my danged face, I can scream Yes! Yes! Yes!

 

Okay. I don’t see me doing a lot of screaming anytime soon, but saying “Yes” should be an option, y’all. Why not? I mean, I get this one go-round and it’s all-too-short. Shouldn’t I make the most of it? Shouldn’t we all?

 

So here’s my big plan: I’m going to become an advocate for myself. I’m already doing it for those nearest and dearest to me. I’m just adding my name to the roster. So far it’s a subtle life change. But I can’t help but thinking that in the long run, it could equal monumental change in my little world. My beautiful, small, overwhelmingly large world. 3 cheers – for all of us!

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