I was at the grocery store the other day. To be specific, I was standing in the wine aisle of the grocery store. There were a few other folks nearby, but I paid them no attention as I was engrossed in my shopping list. Rather, I tried paying them no attention, but it just couldn’t be helped…
This little old lady said to a little old man, “Excuse me, but I’m looking for something called ‘Gin.’ My friend sent me for it. It’s spelled G-I-N. Is it somewhere around here?” The little old man was as befuddled as a tree stump. He slowly responded, “Er… Iiieeeee reeeeallly don’t knooooow.”
At this point, I couldn’t help but look up. Now y’all, that little old man looked like he didn’t even know he was at the danged grocery store, let alone standing in the alcohol section. And the little old lady? I’m fairly certain she was around when gin was invented. And she expected someone to believe she didn’t know what gin was?
That’s when the wheels started turning. Was this some coy pickup line? Was this old gal on the make? I stood there, absorbed by my analysis, and the lady turned to look me square in the eye. She caught me by surprise, but genuinely appeared to be at a loss. So I threw her a bone. “I think gin is one aisle over. But let me check first, before you head over there.” I peeked around the corner, spotted liquor bottles and told the little old lady to follow me.
We walked to the middle of the aisle and I pointed out the gin selection. As there were only 3 choices, I thought it would be easy for the old gal. But she about flipped her lid when she saw the prices. “Does that say $14.99 for that little bottle?” I told her yes, then pointed to a gin I’ve never had and let her know it was only $10.99 for the same amount of alcohol.
At that point, she asked if cheap gin was any different from expensive gin, and said that she thought there must not be any difference at all. Then she said, “My friend said to get cheap gin, because it doesn’t really matter. She’s going to soak raisins in it then eat them. It’s supposed to be good for arthritis, don’t you know.” I said I did not know, and that if her friend had requested cheap gin, she should feel perfectly fine about selecting the odd, cheap bottle. She placed it in her cart, thanked me then wandered away. I considered going back to the wine aisle and helping the little old, befuddled man, but instead opted just to finish up my bid-ness and call it a day.
In the future, I may linger in the alcohol section of the grocery store. You know, just in case any old-timers need a helping hand. Well, that and I do enjoy a good pick-up line from time to time.
For the record, I looked up raisins soaked in gin as an arthritis treatment and found a Dr. Oz assessment of the home remedy. It’s short, sweet and positive! You can read it here.