Mister can’t say anything about it, but I can, so stand back…
For all you sick jokers who like to hang out near us healthy folks while droning on, “I’m not contagious! I’m not contagious!” – stop it! Get the hell away from us!
1. You are clearly contagious, especially if you end up getting us sick, you freak!
2. You are not a doctor! Nor are you an expert from the CDC! Don’t pretend you know what is or is not contagious!
3. We don’t want to hear you whine about your germs! The very germs you insist on sprinkling every damned place you go!
4. You’re sick! We’re not your mama! We are not here to care for you! Keep your sick to yourself!
5. Again – you are contagious! Deal with it!
I feel bad for Mister. That guy has been working super-hard and now he’s nearly down for the count. And while I’m not his mama, I will care for him. And I’ll listen to him if he needs to whine. And I’ll make risotto or soup or anything else he thinks might make him feel better.
But no soup for you, sick freaks! Keep it to yourselves!
End of sermon.