I absolutely do not understand the weather lately. Many of my friends are experiencing swirling shit-storms and heavy pressure systems. One person after another seems to be getting caught unaware in a vortex of low, depressing gray. And some are battling severe condensation, destruction and loss – all at once.
It’s kind of crazy when those around you are experiencing heavy weather and you’re not. Don’t get me wrong – I still have to deal with life and all, but I’m not drowning in a downpour right now. In fact, the sun is out where I sit and there’s a slight, refreshing breeze. And while I know the weather needs no nudging toward abrupt change, my personal forecast is looking pretty good.
There was a time in life when I would have felt guilty about that. When I would have gone all Cassadine and weather-machined my way right out of the light and into darkness, because I wouldn’t have felt worthy of joy when others were in pain. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true. Much of the drama in my life was never even mine. But time and years have trained that out of me. (Thank the gods.) Now I know that other people’s stuff is theirs. And not only can I not do anything about it, it simply isn’t my job. And while I don’t go around saying “Let go and let God,” I often say, “I’m not the boss of that.” For me, let go and let God equals I’m not the boss of that. I can’t tell you how incredibly freeing it is to not be the boss of everyone and everything in the world. If you interpret any of this as being cold, well, that’s your prerogative. (And if you’re the boss of everyone and everything, I’ll light a candle for you, because that is no way to live, friend.) But believe me when I tell you this: I am a much happier and healthier person since I stopped taking on other people’s shit. And I swear to beans – I’m not going back.
So for now, I’m trying to be there for my friends, as best I can. Sometimes that means helping them retrieve a pet from an ex. Sometimes that means helping them circle a date on the calendar – when their pity-party must come to an end (because y’all – all parties end). And sometimes that means helping them by simply listening.
I am also thanking my lucky, freaking stars for allowing me to enjoy the sunlight. It feels amazing.